So, most of our days lately have been spent at home. The air here is disgustingly filled with smog, so much so that it looks like you are driving through fog everywhere you go. Its gross. Its hard on my asthma, so we stay home a lot.
At the mention of running errands Tori gets REALLY excited. This morning I ran up to check an email that Dave sent me and all the sudden I hear, “MOM!!!! Charli and I are going to run errands ok!?” She had asked and asked and asked me to go, but I told her we needed to get a few things done before we left. I heard the familiar shrieks of glee from Charli so I came down to see what was going on. They had both ran down the child gate we have up, and were BOTH on their way up the stairs. I asked Tori who pushed the gate over(it takes a great deal of force, and Charli cannot do it by herself) and Tori proudly answered, “ME AND CHARLI MOM!” Yeah right… you and Charli? Victoria is a smart girl and has figured out that if it has “Charli” attached to it, she’s a heck of a lot less likely to be in trouble. Smart kid.
Also this morning… breakfast is always hilarious around this joint. For some reason Tori wakes up ready to go at full speed from the moment she opens her eyelids. During the course of the day, she loses steam, but often the funniest things she says are in the morning hours. The other day she came up to me and said, “Mom! See this car! Its Charli’s and it’s name is Putsy the Buttcracker!” WHAT?! Its name is WHAT?! She comes up with the funniest things and today was no different. On the yogurt we buy, there are little kids doing things. One is skateboarding, another is doing heaven knows what, but they both looked like boys to her this morning. She’s suddenly learned the difference between the two sexes… “MOM! That is a boy! I’m not a boy! I’m a girl! What is that boy doing on MY YOGURT?!” (as if she’s never seen this yogurt before and has just had an epiphany of what this all means….) “MOM! I AM A GIRL! BUT, my daddy- he’s a big boy! My daddy, he’s a BIG BIG BOY! He’s taller than that boy.” And that was it. I responded with “Yeah?” and she said, “Yep!”, finished her yogurt and asked to watch “Yo GABBA GABBA!” Pretty funny.
I love staying home with my girls. Last night I couldn’t sleep and layed in bed thinking. Sometimes I wish things would be less complicated. It seems like our housing situation always has to be complicated, that Dave’s work and school always has to be intricately planned out and much effort is put into it all. Sometimes, I just feel like its all too complicated and I wish it were simpler. Last night I had a revelation of sorts. Tori was pretty cranky cause we were out late doing some grocery shopping. Most of the time, it makes me cranky too. But last night I realized just how short it all is. Its no big deal if she’s cranky once in a while, and I need to have more patience. Its my fault for keeping her out later and not on her schedule. So, when we went to brush her teeth, she let me do it, which never happens. And while I was sitting there brushing her teeth, I realized how much I enjoy the monotany of it all. I enjoy doing these small simple things that I don’t think twice about normally. Believe it or not, I love changing Charli’s diaper-even if it is poopy. Why? Because it gives me some time to serve her and do something she is not able to do for herself. I love helping Tori brush her teeth, and not just because I can have the satisfaction of knowing that all the “monsters” are really all gone. I love doing all the small and simple things because it gives me a chance to really appreciate my two sweet girls and to recognize how lucky I am to be their mommy. I realized that life is only as complicated as I make it. It comes down to two simple things that are really one in the same: service and love. I serve my children because I love them, but love motivates pretty much everything we do in life. I try and get the house looking as decent as possible, even though I fail miserably some days, because I love my in laws for letting us live here with them, and I know their house would not be messy if it werent for us. I cook dinner, and a myriad of other things, because I love the people who enjoy the finished product. I kiss bumps and bruises, and put the occassional band aid on because I love my girls and don’t ever want them to hurt. I make up crazy songs in the car while one(or both) of them is screaming bloody murder because I love myself(and lets face it, them…. see previous post) enough to not lose my mind.
And so I realized last night, in the dark of our bedroom, while I listened to my sweet baby cuddled up next to me snoring(ok, really, the duet of snores between Dave and Charli), that my life is perfect. Its not perfect in the sense that I have everything I want, or that our bills are all paid and we don’t owe a soul a dime. Its not perfect that we’re living with my inlaws, or that there is the occassional scuffle between Dave and I, or that I really can’t ever leave the house without my clothes smeared up one side and down the other with boogers, food, or slobber, and sometimes a combination of all of those. But everything in my life is perfect in the sense that all of the little imperfections cannot over shadow the fact that I have everything I absolutely need. I have two beautiful girls-that have somehow made it past the gate AGAIN and are each dying for my attention at this very moment- I have a great husband and some pretty spectacular people I count as friends, and even a few I’d claim as family. It really is perfection.
Charli in the bathtub, her favorite hangout!
Daddy reading bedtime stories.
Daddy and Tori enjoying Daddy’s day off on Monday!
Tori sporting her “name cookie”, one of our projects to keep us from being bored to death.
Charli with said, “Putsy the Buttcracker” car…and part of Tori in her PJ’s